When It’s Okay To Let Go Of What No Longer Serves You

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There comes a point in every person’s life—especially for us mommas—where we realize something we once loved, something we once gave our all to, just doesn’t feel right anymore. And in those moments, it can be incredibly hard to let go.

But here’s the truth I’ve come to hold close:
Letting go doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re choosing yourself.

This post is tender and it may even be one of the most important lessons I’ll share.. It’s personal. And maybe… just maybe, it’s the reminder you didn’t know you needed today.

Because we all get to this point at some stage: That quiet, heartbreaking, clarifying moment when you realize…

It’s time to let go.

❌Not because you didn’t care.
❌Not because you didn’t give it everything you had.
But because something that once felt right… no longer does.

And when that moment comes?
Letting go isn’t failure. It’s wisdom. It’s bravery. It’s love.

Whether you’re a momma, a partner, a business owner, or just a human trying to do your best—you’ve probably felt the sting of holding onto something that stopped serving you a long time ago.

This is a story about one of those moments in our family.
It’s personal. It’s emotional. And I’m sharing it in case you need someone to tell you that it’s okay to walk away… even when it hurts.

It Started With a Hockey Team

Let me take you back.

My oldest son fell in love with hockey. And he didn’t just fall in love with any position, he took on the position of goaltender. And I’m not talking about a casual interest—we’re talking full-on, lit-him-up kind of love.

It wasn’t something we pushed him toward. He just knew. And you could see it in his eyes.
Even back in 8U, when kids were supposed to rotate through positions, he insisted on playing goalie every chance he got. For him, if it wasn’t goalie—it wasn’t hockey at all.

And when 10U came along, he finally got to be a full-time goalie (YAY!).

My husband stepped up too—becoming the goalie coach even though he had never played that position. He took it seriously: got certified, studied, watched a ton of YouTube videos, read everything he could, and showed up for every goalie on that team. And it showed…. The development our son made this year was tremendous. He grew so much. 

He was fearless, confident, determined—just a 9-year-old kid with massive heart for the position.

I mean, he didn’t stop every puck. But he always gave it his all.
And he loved it. Win or lose.

Until… something shifted.

When the Cracks Start to Show

You know that gut feeling when something just… changes?

We started noticing a difference in our son. His behavior, his attitude. The kind of subtle things that don’t feel like much at first—until they start building and building up.

There were two goalies on the team (which I fully support—every goalie deserves development!). But over time, it became painfully clear that the other goalie got more:
✔️More attention.
✔️More encouragement.
✔️More coaching from the other coaches.

And let me be clear about something—I’m not the kind of mom who thinks her kid should always be the star. I believe in fairness, teamwork, constructive feedback. But this didn’t feel fair. It felt… personal. And we watched it with out very own eyes.

There was even a game where my son, fully geared up, was told he wouldn’t be going in. The coach said, “Sometimes goalies don’t get to play games.” But that’s not what USA Hockey teaches. And it certainly wasn’t the way the other goalie was being treated.

So there he stood—helmet on, ready to go, waiting by the boards.
And he never went in.

I held back tears. My heart broke.

And then came the locker room talk.
Other kids told him he sucked. Cussed at him.
And the adults? They said nothing. No correction. No support. Just silence.

It was no longer about hockey. It became about who my child was becoming in that environment. And it was breaking our hearts.

The Hardest Question We Had to Ask

Eventually, my husband and I had to stop and look at each other honestly:

Why are we still here?

Was it really about the game?
Or were we afraid?

👉Afraid of looking like quitters.
👉Afraid of disappointing people.
👉Afraid of starting over.

We had invested so much time and energy—not just our son, but our whole family. This team had become part of our identity.

But the truth of the matter hit hard:
The person we were disappointing most out of all of us… was our son.

Letting Go Isn’t Giving Up

So we made the call.

We pulled him from the team—even though we were just weeks away from the state tournament. It was one of the hardest parenting decisions we’ve ever had to make.

All I could think was:
👉“But what about the time we’ve put in?”
👉“What about the friendships we’ve made?”
👉“What if we’re making a mistake?”

But deep down, we knew—
Staying was costing him more than leaving ever would.

There was grief, sure. And it hurt.
But then… there was space. Space to breathe, space to be.

And in that space, something beautiful happened.

The Spark Came Back

He joined a lower-pressure team for the last two weeks of the season. He even got to play with a great buddy of his, which brought a huge smile to his face.
No drama. No stress.

And then came spring league. He was invited to play up—but we kept him where he was supposed to be, with good friends and a coach who accepted him for all he was.

And something magical happened.

The spark returned.
The confidence. The joy. The love for the game.
We had our son back.

The thought hit me like a ton of bricks:
✔️We thought we were “doing the right thing” by pushing through.
✔️By staying committed.
✔️By “not giving up.”

But true loyalty?
That belongs to your child’s well-being. Their growth. Their joy.
Not to systems that hurt them.

What This Taught Me (And Maybe You Too)

This wasn’t just about hockey.

This can pertain to just about everything—and everyone—who’s ever stayed in something longer than they should have.

👉A job that drains you.
👉A routine that no longer fits your season.
👉A business idea that once lit you up—but now feels heavy.
👉A relationship, a commitment, a plan that doesn’t serve who you’re becoming.

We tell ourselves:
✔️“But I’ve already invested so much.”
✔️“What will people think?”
✔️“I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

But here’s the truth:

Letting go isn’t giving up.
👉 It’s honoring your growth.
👉 It’s choosing peace over pressure.

Even good things can become misaligned.
That doesn’t make you ungrateful—it makes you aware.

From One Momma to Another

If you’re in a season where something doesn’t feel right anymore—
I want to give you full permission.

⭐️It’s okay to change the plan.
⭐️It’s okay to walk away.
⭐️It’s okay to say: “This no longer fits the person I’m becoming.”

You are not failing.
You are freeing yourself.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do… is to let go.

This blog post is taken from an episode on my podcast listen to it HERE

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